When was the last time you felt the pain of rejection? If you are a young person reading this post, your answer might be, “this morning at school”, and wishing you were out of school! However, even adults deal with feelings of rejection. Everyone wants to be accepted and valued as a person, no matter what age. God created us to need and desire the friendship of others.

As we grow up, many think they are managing this fear of rejection but usually it’s just disguised in some area of our personality. The only way to manage the fear of rejection is to get rid of it by the power of the Word of God. The Bible tells us in Second Timothy 1:7 that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. So this truth tells us that we are not to live in fear, especially the fear of rejection.

The first appearance of fear in the Bible is in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve, by disobedience of God’s Word, lost their glory and became afraid.  (Genesis 3:1-10) The result of their disobedience was the manifestation of the spirit of fear.

Sometimes this spirit of fear manifests as shyness, making the person think this will protect them from getting hurt again. But in reality, being shy and withdrawn only results in even more feelings of rejections. So no, this doesn’t work.

I might also add here that being shy goes beyond being an introvert.  Shyness carries with it a sense of fear. An introvert in personality only means one is more reserved, not necessarily fearful. Only God can give us insight to whether we, or another person is an introvert by personality and or whether they are fighting a spirit of fear; as it could be both because both have a lot of the same character tendencies.

The spirit of fear sometimes shows up in over-achievers, driven to think that their accomplishments will give them the acceptance they desire. However, this type acceptance is short lived because there is always more to accomplish to prove their acceptability! So, no this doesn’t work either. Please note that our acceptance should not be based alone on what we do but who we are, based on our integrity. This is not to say that some behavior isn’t acceptable, let’s use some wisdom.

Then there’s the under-achievers where the spirit of fear raises its ugly head, giving the impression that they don’t have a chance to succeed anyway, so there’s no reason to trying to accomplish anything. This carries with it a double sense of rejection because one first feels a rejection, and then, by not trying to achieve anything feels another sense of rejection. Bummer, bummer. So no, this isn’t the answer either.

So, let’s look at some Bible truths to help us manage these fears of rejection that come at us. And no one is exempt from these thoughts or attacks. Understand that no matter how the fear may appear, we need to confront it with the truth of the Word of God. Everyone one wants to be accepted and know that they are valued. God is the only one who loves, accepts and values us unconditionally.

This was revolutionary for me when I first learned this truth. It brought a major change in the way I thought about everything, especially about myself. When I received the revelation of how much God loves and accepts me and has good things for me, I began to be changed from that shy, fearful person into the person God wants me to be. Have I totally arrived at that position of walking in all He has for me – no, not yet, but my faith is in Him performing that transformation while I trust in Him – rather than me trying to perform!  Hope that makes sense to you.

From my own life experiences I can tell you that when I learned how much God loves me and accepts me, my life turned around to wanting to please Him – more than wanting to please others. This doesn’t excuse us from caring and pleasing others in acts of kindness, etc., it just means our first priority is to please God. When we represent God correctly in love, patience, and kindness, then we will also be pleasing to others.

As Christians we need to know and understand what the Bible says about us. The truth is that God does not reject us. He loves us, accepts us, and has provided the pathway to become His child through the Salvation promise that Jesus makes available for everyone. Think about it: if God wanted to reject us, He would not have sent His Son Jesus to the Cross to set us free from sin and the fear of rejection.

Understand that it doesn’t matter when or why we began to have a fear of rejection. It doesn’t even matter how minor or major the experience. What do matter is that we know that God loves and accepts us and has provided healing from these life-experiences. God in His infinite (limitless, endless, vast) wisdom has provided answers to any problem we may face.

Fear has torment; but there is no fear in perfect love – God is that perfect love. (1 John 4:18) There’s no reason to fear because God is with us; He’s our help and strength. (Isaiah 41:10)

God is perfect in everything; even in His love for us. I pray that you will open your heart to the revelation of the truth of God’s love for you and that you will receive and live in this truth of His love; there’s no need for you to fear rejection.